The Amazing Tale of the Girl with the Exceptionally Big Head

There once was a girl
with an exceptionally big head
which served to contain
her brains of great weight.
With her ample resources,
She would think through the nights
of pulsars and quasars
and the meaning of life.
Yet due to her rather
strange proportion,
it occurred to the girl
men approached her with caution.
This set her of course
on a new thinking spree,
as she sought to define
what caused men to flee.

She proceeded upon
a series of tests -
the hypothesis being
men tend to regress
to childish behaviour
when left on their own –
so using some glue,
she stuck one at home.
Specimen A was rather distraught
cajoling and beer
failed to calm him a lot.
At the point in the experiment
when he spat in her face,
she decided that he
was not to her taste.
Efficiently disposing
of his sad residue,
she boldly designed
a plan fresh and new.

Now Specimen B
was deemed the control,
the variables being
the girl’s very own role.
By turns she was sweet,
demure, sometimes sexy,
she gave long massages,
sent herself home in a taxi.
She kept her opinions
much to herself,
as he frequently lectured
on the world’s social health.
After some months of listening to drivel,
the girl felt her head discernibly shrivel.
While aesthetically speaking
this seemed like a boon,
she felt the real danger
of becoming a goon.

She realized the need for her to assess
the considerable data
amassed from her tests.
Number 1, she concluded,
confinement didn’t work.
Deprived of their freedom,
men tend to be jerks.
Number 2, she surmised,
most men like to talk.
All they want is an audience –
attentive, yet hot.
Number 3 was a question
she needed to ask -
was companionship worth
this long tedious farce?

She imagined more years
in self-imposed silence
mustering smiles
amidst inner violence.
Rather regretful,
she had to conclude
that exceptionally big heads
did seem to preclude
the mincing and prancing
of such necessity
when one was ensuring
that men would not flee.

But all of a sudden
a revelation struck!
The girl saw the defect
in the experimental set-up.
She beamed in great wonder,
her hope all revived –
the results had been skewed
due to the small sample size!