Grace has its own rewards

Just re-watched 'Seabiscuit', a movie about a horse and a man that defy all the odds.. typical inspirational storyline, but this one shines because of the basic decency that the characters emanate.

One line caught my heart 'Just because it's a little banged up, doesn't mean you throw away a life.'

Again and again, the horse-owner decided to give the wild horse, the rebellious jockey and the taciturn horse-trainer chance after chance to get up and prove themselves.

It underscored what I learnt yesterday - that grace has its own rewards.

Had quarrelled with E yesterday, as I had felt pissed about her being late again for what felt like the millionth time. I don't know when I had started counting, certainly it must have started recently, because for the longest time I had just accepted it as one of her quirks.

But when I brought it up, she brought up the times when she had overlooked my shortcomings - my ramblings, flakiness etc. She asked why I had brought up the lateness issue when she had not brought up these other issues.

I was glad she brought up my shortcomings though. Glad it was all on the table. I hadn't realised the extent to which it was a burden to her.

But ultimately, I realised that it was an issue of counting transgressions vs grace.

Recently, three people on different occasions brought up the fact that I have been 'bullied' by colleagues, in the sense that I take on other's loads. Then another person said that I'm too much of a people pleaser, that I get trampled by colleagues and friends.

It made me angry, and indignant, when I wasn't before.

But after the quarrel with E, I realised that I have willingly done these things because I felt it was right to do, and right because I am capable of contributing in these ways. Others may find contributions without payback a silly waste of time.. but grace has its own rewards.

I'm not of course advocating a co-dependent thing or giving without discernment (which I am inclined to do). But grace, without counting transgressions, I think would bear the fruits of dignity and relationships of trust and mutual forbearance.

It just so happened that yesterday's verse of the day was this -
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. -- John 15:13 (KJV)