Conversation (Part 1) - Unsaid

I’m fine I say
And the conversation shifts smoothly
into second gear
Meandering along despicably familiar paths
with minor twists that fail to surprise
Any more

What if I had said that
I almost cried on the train today
panicked choking
over nothing
Or that I spent too much
again
Or that my mother is dying
and we all are

Would that have stalled you
reaching for a clutch
changing the topic hastily
Or would it have ignited something
real something
that would drive away my contempt
when you say
How are you
?