Love rituals

I've been vastly amused these past few days as I walk around City Hall/Orchard road observing couples/suitors preparing for Valentine's day.

In particular, there's a certain atmosphere of urgency within jewellery shops. Dutiful boyfriends/husbands try to look earnest as their darlings choose something nice (and hopefully within budget).

I used to be one of those girls; one of those who need tangible proof that - yes, we are a couple, and yes - by golly you better prove it to the whole world that you like me enough to spend ludicrous sums on wilting flowers on this particular day.

But on the day I did receive flowers from my ex on Valentine's day, I suddenly felt.. embarrassed. It suddenly hit me that i did not want any attention about the fact that we were a couple. It was a private affair. And the fact that thousands of other girls were carrying around similarly wilting flowers was... sad. I did not feel special. I only felt as if my ex had felt obligated to buy those embarrassed roses for me.

So as I walked around today, I felt happy that I do not need jewellery or flowers or anything from anyone on Valentine's day. I felt free from obligation and expectations.

Many of my friends say the same things about Valentine's day - that it is a commercialised affair, that in a real relationship, you do not need to prove your love to your beloved on one particular day of the year. And yet - these are the same people who will spend/have spent thousands of dollars on another love ritual - their wedding.

Of course, some might argue that you can't possibly compare a wedding with Valentine's day. After all, the former is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, while the latter is a meaningless commercialised affair. But I cannot help but wonder if the nine-course dinners, elaborate photo shoots, exorbitant gowns and open-for-all invitations are simply an extrapolated form of ... wilting flowers.

After all, isn't the marriage more important than the wedding?

But who am I to say this, since I still harbour dreams of a picture perfect wedding? Then again, perhaps those dreams will change, just as my notions of valentine's day have changed.