Gulf War (of mis-com and ministry)

Talking about 'unbridgeable gulfs' which I mentioned two posts ago..

I used to be in a church cell group. For nine years in fact. Did alot, grew alot.
Then, changes occurred. More regulations, more expectations, a growing sense of unease.. (Huh? I mean, you really are my family? Seeing you in a social/religious context once a week amidst 6 other persons makes you my family? But... ?)

Had crisis managment talks with the pastor. Submission to authority. Loving unconditionally. Needless to say I felt progressively alot shittier about myself. This hem-haw tug-of-war lasted for about a year (Sheesh, what was I doing for a year?!?) Then I left.

More talks. More questions. Finally, I said I wanted to try again. (Tell you I'm a sucker for punishment. People-pleaser, constantly guilt-ridden. What bad traits. Must change.)
Anyway.
Pastor says - Wait. Stop. Not so fast. I will decide which cell group you must be in. Submission to authority. Trust my heart. (But why must you micro-manage? I trust your heart but not your judgement. You don't even know me.. ) So I guai-guai wait and stop. And wait.

After four months, there's been no news. I've changed church in the meanwhile. No cell groups here, but I really trust this lady who's the epitome of Christian graciousness. (A standard I'll only reach by a miracle, which is why i need God.)

Tonight, i received an SMS. 'Hey, I think there's been a miscom. Pastor thought she didn't need to get back to you.'

Huh? After four months she realises? Wow. What unconditional love and care she has for me. Then again, she's only human, i could have very well asked for feedback, i could have very well bridged the gap.
But - I'm just tired.

Maybe the mis-com is God's will after all.