Of harshness and heroes

Met Jim and his wife Jo, the other day. Jim knows me from junior college, and we've witnessed the tremendous changes in character and temperment that God has wrought in our lives. This is the guy who had said this about me 'She's a hopeless case. Won't change. How to be a christian?' i has said of him ' christian? what a freaking hypocrite then.'
B, our mutual friend, the man who taught me how to pray and who has been giving me all sorts of advice over the years, was our peacemaker.
Now, Jim and I trust and respect each other immensely. Amazing.

In any case, we met up that day and when I told him about how I had been freaked out by B's comments on the evil influence of church and such.
Jim had refused to comment on B's views. all he said was that B cared for me a great deal, talked about me constantly, and - in Jim's words - seemed to regard me as a daughter in all the ways he talked about me and lamented about my plight.

Then, Jim said to me - don't you realise that you are always harshest to those who love you the most?

I was stunned.

I am never harsh with E whom I love alot. Neither am I harsh with Cellina or her boys, or Yve or Grace or JM.. okay, all girlfriends here.
I find it difficult to be harsh with students even when they irritate the ell out of me. (But I suppose they don't fit the criteria of loving me alot).

I am harsh with my mum - who loves me the most - though I have improved a great deal and become a little more patient.
And I tend to be harsh on myself. (And we all love ourselves, whether healthily or narcissistically).

Harsh with B because he loves me? No. I do not think so. I'm avoiding him because I know I can't be harsh with him. I feel defenceless as i have always regarded him so highly, yet i disbelieve what he has been preaching these days.

Perhaps it is not about harshness, but about being able to accept the flaws in my 'heroes'. I am beginning to understand that expecting myself,and those i love, to be perfect is a terrible thing.


Mark 10:18
And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone.