Tired

Many good friends have been asking how I’ve been feeling, considering the roller coaster ride that I’ve been on these past few months.

In all honesty, for the past few days, I’ve been in this oddly zen state. Maybe this is what life on prozac feels like.

The closest I came to being emotional was when I was sharing with E about couples I saw reading newspapers together at tcc café on a lazy Sunday morning, wondering why a scene like that seemed so out of reach for me. But she turned around and asked me if I would be bored by too many afternoons like that.

Would I? I’m not very sure anymore. Do I desire something simply because it is out of reach? Not always.

But right now I’m too tired to overanalyze. Or simply to analyze.

I’m wondering what my solo trip to Cochin next week will be like. I’ve been avoiding hearing from God, glancing away from the bible that is at my bedside. Unread. Will I avoid Him then as well? Not sure.

No expectations then. (but where does hope fit into the picture?)

Oh. Too tired to think.